the quick glance

1.)
Joy blew out the flame on her Sterno and settled into her saggy futon to enjoy her can of beans. She always felt like a bit of a hobo on bean night. 'A bottle of Thunderbird in a paper bag would make this night perfect' she said to herself. She felt that cold, empty feeling, wishing for a second that she did indeed have a bottle of Thunderbird.

Fred Rogers wasn't rolling too bad tonight. The extra aluminum foil she had put on her antenna seemed to really help pull in 'QED. Speedy Delivery came on and she laughed so hard beans flew out of her mouth. Joy finished her meal and quietly sang along to 'won't you be my neighbor?'

A single tear ran down her face as she finished the song. A good neighbor was all she ever wanted to be. She wanted to be everyone's neighbor.

Joy threw the can away and shook the Sterno to make sure she had enough fuel for the next meal. She turned off the TV. A loud 'click' and the picture shrunk smaller and smaller than made a quiet 'pop' noise. It was an old 19" with a rotary dial that she dumpster dove for. It was someone else's garbage but to her it was golden.

She gathered up what little change she had from her various hiding places throughout the flat and organized them into neat piles by coin type on her nightstand/kitchen table/countertop. She pulled the crumpled wad of bills from her pocket, flattened them out and counted up her funds. $9.55 would be enough to get food for at least 4 or 5 days if she stretched it.

Joy walked over to her mirror, found on another dumpster dive, and looked at herself. A beautiful 25 year old woman with long blond hair, perfect porcelain skin, eyes from heaven, and a knockout smile looked back.

She brushed her matted blond hair with a brush half broken and continued to see the past.

Joy took put her money in her right front pocket, the change pocket, for safety.

She clipped her Walkman to her belt, put her headphones on, and slid in her Bel-Biv-Divoe tape. She had dozens of tapes in her flat but always found her self listening to Bel-Biv-Divoe. It reminded her of prom and being crowned queen.

Joy walked the back way to Giant Eagle. Ever since the clubs opened, there were always assholes making comments to her on the main street. She could still be a good neighbor in the back alleys.

She smiled with her mouth closed as the woman rang her out. "Is this it?" the cashier always asked Joy, as if she expected Joy to one day walk in with a hundred or an EBT card and buy pounds of shrimp and steak and milk and everything else rich people by.

"That's all today, Joyce" Joy said through pursed lips. Joy didn't hate Joyce. She was a good neighbor to everyone, Joy was. Joyce just got a little nosy sometimes.

$9.55 bought Joy 4 cans of Cambell's Chunky soup. 4 Cans of baked beans. And an 8 pack of generic hot dogs. That was enough food for 4 days, and 4 days was enough time for Joy to find a job, even an odd one.

She would never take hand outs. Never put her head down. She was a good neighbor, she added to the community. She couldn't name a specific instance when she picked up trash because she did it so often, it was instinct. She occasionally volunteered at the shelters she was eligible to eat at.

"Have a nice night, Joy" leaked through Joy's headphones as 'B.B.D. (I Thought It Was Me)?' whirred on.

"You too, Joyce." Joy kept her head up and walked out into the night.

2.)

The night air burned her lungs a bit, woke her up, and made her feel alive. 'People bitch about the cold!' she said to her neighbors 'I embrace it!' She took deep breaths to match her long strides. Walked right past the alley headed for Carson St, to see her neighbors.

She trucked past 16th street. On the corner of 17th and Carson, she happened exchange a quick glance, a chance glance, that lasted an eternity for Joy.

A kid, no, a man, a man sitting on his skateboard, his face young but his eyes weary from life, exchanged quick glances with Joy.

She smiled slightly in this instant and blinked and saw an eternity.

"How are you doing tonight, beautiful?" he said, and then her life changed from that of rags to theirs of riches. He had a job, insurance, a house, a car, a life, a future. He picked her up, made her feel beautiful again, and spun her around and around without ever letting her touch the ground. She was able to be more than a good neighbor, she got to be a great neighbor, spending her time attending to various charities, helping children, helping friends, families, animals, neighbors. She didn't have to worry about herself because he did; she only had to be a great neighbor.

Her eyes opened and her right foot fell to the pavement followed by the left foot instinctively carrying her forward.

The glance ended and so did her dream.